He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
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Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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