think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
