I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's shark week go big or go home
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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