Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
