totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dick very happy bro
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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