Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
