I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
