I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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