One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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