you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
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My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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