I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
