I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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