Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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