So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
