Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
