My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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