3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my sisters under your porch take her home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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