I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
