How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
tell me about the eggs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
