we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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