HIV tests are more positive than that guy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
