I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
