i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
