she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
