when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
