You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
