you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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