she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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