sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize