if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
