So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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