Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
