i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
