I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
