You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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