I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
