College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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