She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
