Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
