Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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