I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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