Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My vagina is very pro this idea
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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