This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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