**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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