You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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