he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
