if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I am available for nakedness
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
