STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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