Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
