its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
