i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
