The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
