please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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