wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
