Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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