Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
