I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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