you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
