He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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