you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
